If you never travel beyond your zip code, you may never question your beliefs or realize how the culture you grew up in, or currently live in, affects the choices you see for yourself, decisions you make and the life you live.  

Culture consists of a set of beliefs that form the foundation and create the rules and “shoulds” that govern our life. We seldom question if these beliefs are true and will often impose our beliefs on others, judge them wrong for not accepting them as truth, and/or only surround ourselves with people who share our beliefs to reinforce that we are “right.”

I grew up with beliefs that I didn’t question until I started traveling and began to see that the definition of right or wrong – especially for women – was influenced by what was defined as acceptable behavior where you lived. This awareness facilitated major changes in my own life that included moving far away from my original zip code and stimulated an interest in understanding the impact of cultural on our lives.

One of the many things I’m enjoying about cruising is the opportunity to learn about different cultures, not only from the different countries I visit but also from the culturally diverse staff who are usually with us for the entire four months.

One morning last week my coffee was delivered by a young Balinese man I hadn’t met before.  I asked if he was new to the ship and he replied that he had just gotten on in Santiago and then added, “and my dream has come true.”

I didn’t think his dream was delivering my coffee each morning, so I asked him to tell me more about what he meant.  He said that as a child growing up in Bali, he had seen the large cruise ships and dreamed of one day working on one and traveling around the world. He went to hoteling school and had landed his dream job.

Thinking like an American and a career coach,  I mentioned that his education would likely make it possible from him to advance to management. He replied that he had been doing the same job for seven years and had no desire to move up.  He had realized his dream and didn’t aspire for more.

Not everyone thinks like Americans and shares our belief that we should aspire for more and more and more and never give up until we’ve gone as far as we can go. Hard work brings success and success brings happiness. I’m learning that some cultures are happy just being happy.  Who’s right?

The cruise ship does a wonderful job of providing lectures about the culture of the places we’re visiting that’s reinforced by the local guide on the tours I take. These aren’t “chamber-of-commerce” talks that present the city as ideal,  but honest portraits of life in those cities.

In January I visited Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina and Chili, and learned about the South American culture  and differences from country to country between the rich and poor. I realized that there are individuals who aspire for a better life but will have a difficult – if not impossible – task of achieving their aspirations because of the culture they were born into and lack of resources to support them in achieving their dreams – or even dreaming them in the first place. I’m currently cruising in the South Pacific and learning about the Polynesian culture.

I visited Easter Island where 887 ancient human faced Moai statues believed to be built around 300 AD still stand. We were instructed by the local tour guide to not walk too close to or touch the statues because they respected their ancestors who were buried in the ground in front of the statues and they didn’t want them walked on. They believe the spirits of the ancestors reside in the statues.

We were also asked to not take a rock as a souvenir because rocks contain spirits that are meant to remain where they were formed, just like people, and you would have bad luck if you took one home with you.  I saw no reason to take the risk and won’t be having any rock souvenirs from Easter Island.

We couldn’t get off the ship at Pitcairn Island but anchored and brought Pitcairn residents on board to sell their products and deliver a presentation about their culture, which was immortalized in the file, Mutiny on the Bounty. There are 40 residents on the island from 9 families who are descendants of the survivors and instigators of the mutiny. There are only two women in the child-bearing age so they’re giving land to anyone who will move there. If you’re looking for an isolated lush island surrounded by beautiful blue water, this is for you. If you’re a young woman who can still have children, the British government is looking for you.

The Pitcairn and Easter Island belief about never leaving where you were born reminded me of the traditional southern culture I grew up in where no one moved very far away from family. You were supposed to “bloom where you were planted.” When I was growing up my parents lived on the same street as my mother’s parents and one street over from my dad’s parents. They later moved all the way across town, changing the last number of their zip code and upsetting the grandparents.

The southern culture may be to bloom where you’re planted but Cook Island in French Polynesia takes it a step further. It’s common practice to bury family in your front yard and when I was touring, I saw gravesites and tombstones in front of homes.

The Polynesian culture experts believed that the biggest threat to preserving their culture happened when the Christian missionaries came to Polynesia to “save” the natives by replacing their “wrong” belief of many gods with the “right” belief in one God. Of course the intent of the missionaries was good, just like my intent to provide encouraging career advice to my Balinese room service attendant and assume he would share the American belief that you must advance, that basically judges the Balinese belief as “wrong.”

The common theme I recognize across the different cultures is the impact family and religion have on our belief of what’s right and what’s wrong; but, more importantly how we allow those beliefs to dictate what our life will be rather than questioning if they’re true for us and understanding that what’s right for us may not align with the beliefs of our culture.

I think instead of automatically believing a choice is right or wrong because that’s what you’ve been told or what’s acceptable in your family, take a moment to ask yourself if you’re making the decision that’s the best decision for you, reflects your values, and puts you on the path to living the life you want to live.

Something to think about.