“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.” – Eric Zorm

A new year symbolically marks a new beginning and creates an opportunity to let go of outdated beliefs and unhealthy behaviors that don’t support being the person we want to be and living the life we aspire to live. We make resolutions that represent our desire for positive change, a belief in our ability to make the changes required to achieve our goals, and a promise  to ourselves to make the new year a better one.

Excited and energized, we start out believing that this year will be different than the last when our resolutions went by the wayside but once again, come February or even earlier, many of us break the promise we made to ourselves to improve and abandon our goals altogether. 

Seeing this pattern of setting goals but not achieving goals repeated with many of my clients, I began listening for consistent themes and behaviors among the clients who weren’t successful in achieving their goals. What I learned and has been reinforced over my 35 years of coaching clients is that it isn’t a lack of resources or will power that prevents us from achieving what we desire, it is the inability to adopt new behaviors needed to achieve and sustain our goal.

Behaviors become habits that are challenging to change because they are supported by beliefs, we hold about ourselves and our abilities, which become barriers to success. Beliefs are powerful. You only allow yourself to be and achieve what you believe is ok for you. The beliefs I heard repeatedly expressed by my clients who consistently failed to achieve their goals were often preceded by “I must, or I should” and fell into one or more of 12 categories that I named “The Dirty Dozen.”  

Over the next 12 months I’ll be posting an article each month on my website about one of these limiting beliefs, and how to prevent it from becoming a barrier to realizing the personal and professional success you desire. In the meantime, think about a change you would like to achieve this year and ask yourself the following questions:

1. What would a person believe and how would a person behave who has accomplished what I aspire to achieve?
2. What behaviors will I need to change to achieve my goal?
3. What beliefs support those behaviors and could become a barrier to success?

THE DIRTY DOZEN

Beliefs that become barriers to experiencing a more rewarding life.

1. I must have approval
2. I must be perfect
3. I must not fail
4. I should have faith. If it is supposed to happen it will happen.
5. I shouldn’t be more successful than my friends and family because my success will make them feel bad.
6. I should help others succeed. I’m being selfish focusing on myself.
7. People who succeed are just lucky.
8. People who succeed are lonely and unhappy.
9. I’m too old to make the changes I would have to make. It would be too disruptive.
10. I should be realistic. What I want to do is just too risky.
11. I must be in control. I will face too many unknowns if I make any changes.
12. I’m inferior. I’m not smart enough. I’m not strong enough. I’m not brave enough. I’m just not enough.