Mantra #6: I Let Go of What I Cannot Control

A mantra to help you take charge of your life and let others take charge of theirs.

Let’s be honest: most of us spend way too much energy trying to control things we simply can’t. And often, “things” means “people.” We don’t call it control, of course. We call it helping, guiding, supporting, or advising. But if we’re really honest, a lot of it is us trying to steer someone else’s life so we can feel more at ease in our own.

A large part of the problem is confusing influence with control. You might influence many things, but you only control a few, and none of those involve another adult’s decisions. Understanding this difference can make life feel much lighter.

The biggest drain on our energy isn’t the hard things we can control but trying to control what we want to control but can’t. That’s where we lose hours of sleep, peace, and sanity.

If you’re a parent, you know this feeling well. Watching your child make a choice you think is wrong is incredibly difficult. Everything in you wants to step in, redirect, fix, or at least “strongly suggest” an alternative. But they’re just looking for support, and we often can’t provide it because we disagree with their decision.

And sometimes we don’t even realize we’re being controlling. We think we’re being loving. We believe we’re sharing our wisdom about mistakes we’ve made and don’t want them to repeat.

But beneath the advice and the “I just want what’s best for you,” there is fear—fear they’ll get hurt, fear they’ll drift away, fear that if they choose differently, we’ll lose our connection to them. If we can convince them we always know best, maybe they’ll keep coming back.

But that’s not love. It’s an attempt to control. And it’s not good for them or for us.

Letting go of what you can’t control isn’t giving up. It’s showing trust that they will make the best decision and will learn from it if they don’t. It’s choosing to direct your energy toward what truly matters: your own choices, actions, and life.

This is when repeating the mantra: “I let go of what I cannot control.” helps.

And it’s not just about parenting. Ask yourself, “What do I keep replaying in my head?” That question reveals where you’re trying to control what can’t be controlled — a text that never arrived, a job that feels uncertain, a family situation that triggers old fears, an event you’re responsible for that you believe will fall apart unless you hold everything together.

You feel out of control, and feeling out of control doesn’t feel good, so you try to take control by worrying about an outcome you can’t control.

Worry intensifies in the unknown. It causes you to focus solely on the worst possible outcome. This is when repeating the mantra “I let go of what I cannot control” helps create space to focus on what you can control. When you turn a vague fear into a small, clear step, you regain control. One tiny action can pull you out of rumination and reconnect you with your life.

Here’s a simple way to handle that. Choose one situation that’s been occupying your mind. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left, write “Things I can do.” On the right, write “Things outside my control.” Then list at least three items on each side.

If you’re stressed about a work project, the left side might include “plan my next step,” “ask for clarity,” or “stop doing work that isn’t mine because I’m afraid it won’t be done right.” The right side might include “other people’s reactions,” “what they’ll think,” or “what’s going to happen next.”

Once you see it on paper, something shifts. Your mind stops spinning. You can feel where your energy truly belongs. And you can sense where it’s been wasted.

What are you replaying in your mind, and what is it trying to teach you about letting go?

You don’t have to carry what was never yours. You don’t have to fix what isn’t broken. You don’t have to hold together what belongs in someone else’s hands. Your life becomes lighter the moment you let go of what you can’t control — and focus on what you actually can.

Letting go isn’t a weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s the moment you stop trying to manage the world and start choosing the part of it that’s yours. And that’s where your real power lives.

Ask yourself which part of your life would feel lighter if you stopped trying to hold onto what was never meant to be yours to control.

Try repeating the mantra, “I let go of what I cannot control,” this week when you’re trying to control what you can’t and see if you don’t start to feel calmer and less stressed.

Something to think about.