Mantra #9: I Embrace Change and Look Forward to New Beginnings

A Mantra to Guide You as You Move Through Change

When I think about embracing change, I think of my neighbor Holly. Her story is a reminder that even the most unexpected endings can open doors we never imagined.

After 30 years as a record‑breaking sales professional, Holly lost her job when her company was acquired. She didn’t just lose a paycheck — she lost the future she thought she was building. Like many of us, she cycled through anger, fear, and self‑blame. Big change does that. It shakes your identity and clouds your vision.

But getting stuck in grief keeps you from seeing the opportunities that loss can create. Holly chose to focus on what might come next. She set up a small booth at the county fair to test selling her fried green tomatoes. She sold out almost every night. That tiny step revealed something important: people loved her product.

So she took a leap. She used her severance to buy a food truck and launched a business selling fried green tomatoes and other Southern favorites. When customers began asking for her batter and secret sauce, she tested selling those too — another step. In her second year, she launched a retail line.

Then came the leap of all leaps: Shark Tank auditions in Nashville. She showed up, excelled, appeared on the show, and secured a deal with Barbara Corcoran. A second truck followed. Then franchising. Today, 14 years later, Holly has a national product line, franchise opportunities, and two thriving food trucks.

Most of us don’t feel that kind of clarity after a major change. Instead, we feel like we’re standing in thick fog — unable to see what’s ahead or even who we are now. That fog can appear after job loss, retirement, an empty nest, or even after achieving a long‑held goal. A chapter ends, and suddenly your identity shifts. You wonder: What now? Who am I becoming?

After years of guiding clients through transitions — and walking through many of my own — I’ve learned that you have two choices in the fog: stepping or leaping. Both require movement. Both lead you forward.

Stepping

Stepping is choosing the next small, best step — not the whole plan, not the whole future. Just one step. Then reassess and take another.

Movement creates energy. Energy creates momentum. And momentum slowly clears the fog.

You don’t need a five‑year plan. You don’t need to know your destination. You simply keep moving, learning, adjusting, and asking, “What’s the next right step?” Even missteps teach you something that helps you move forward.

If you sit still and wait for clarity, you may stay stuck far longer than you need to. But if you keep stepping, one day the fog lifts — and you realize you’ve walked yourself into a new beginning.

Leaping

Leaping is different. Leaping is what you do when clarity arrives — when you feel that spark of excitement about a future you can almost see.

When that moment comes, don’t talk yourself out of it. Don’t list all the reasons you can’t. Leap. Trust that the net will appear. Trust that you will have what you need when you need it.

Stepping and Leaping Together

Most new beginnings require both. Holly stepped when she tested her tomatoes at the fair. She leaped when she bought the food truck. She stepped when she tried selling her batter. She leaped when she created a national product line and walked onto the Shark Tank stage.

She embraced change — and created a life she never could have planned.

And so can you.

Trust that change is not here to take something from you. It’s here to lead you somewhere new. What new beginning might be waiting for you if you take one small step today?

Embrace change and look forward to new beginnings.

Mantra #7: I Choose to Focus on the Good

A mantra to shift your thoughts from negative to positive

I grew up in a culture where women worried, and men gave them plenty to worry about.

My early view of the world was shaped by an environment of gloom and doom, but in my twenties, I stumbled upon Norman Vincent Peale’s book The Power of Positive Thinking. I didn’t know it then, but that book would become a turning point.

As I read it, I felt something inside me shift. For the first time, I realized I had a choice in how I saw the world, and myself in it. I didn’t have to inherit the gloom-and-doom mindset I’d grown up with. I could choose how I saw the world — and myself. That single shift revealed possibilities I had never imagined.

I wanted to share this new way of thinking with everyone I loved, but I quickly learned something important: people often become comfortable in their misery. Complaining feels easier than changing.

I learned that our thoughts act like magnets. They attract people who reinforce either a negative or positive worldview. I began drawing in people with the mindset I wanted to develop. Over time, focusing on the good became automatic.

Choosing to focus on the good doesn’t mean pretending life is perfect. It means refusing to let the hard moments define the whole story. It’s a proactive mindset—one that seeks solutions instead of spiraling into fear or frustration. It’s a choice you have to make over and over until it becomes your way of seeing your world.

This shift strengthens your mental health, deepens your relationships, and builds resilience. When challenges come, you’re better able to cope because you’re grounded in what’s still true, still working, still meaningful.

This mindset also influenced my leadership style. When I was a senior manager at a large consulting firm, I often had underperforming employees assigned to me. Within months, many of them became top performers. The main difference was focus.

We spent more time emphasizing and developing strengths wherever possible instead of weaknesses. As their confidence increased, so did their performance. It feels much better to excel with your strengths rather than be weighed down by weaknesses.

Reflect on your own career. Haven’t you been happier in roles where you could excel at what you do? When you focus on improving your weaknesses, you might only become average. But when you concentrate on developing your strengths, you can become exceptional.

The same is true in our personal relationships. Our children, surrounded by so much negativity, need to learn how to find the good. Our spouses need to feel appreciated for what they do right, not just what irritates us. In those moments when criticism comes more easily than praise, this mantra becomes a lifeline: I choose to focus on the good.

What you focus on becomes your reality. The world might sometimes be chaotic, unfair, or overwhelming, but you still have the power to choose your perspective. When you intentionally seek out the good — in yourself, in others, and in your life — you invite more of it in.

So next time your mind drifts to what’s bad, pause and ask yourself: What’s good here? What’s still working? What deserves my attention? You might be surprised by how much good is already present — waiting to be noticed.

Mantra #4: I Am Creating A Beautiful Life

A mantra for rebuilding, reimagining, and reinventing your life—
one choice at a time.

There are times when life falls apart—when the job ends, the relationship is over, and the future you expected fades away. I’ve experienced those moments too, looking at a life that no longer matched the one I had expected.

In those moments, repeating “I am creating a beautiful life” gave me hope. Not because anything felt beautiful, but because I needed to remember that beauty can be rebuilt. That I could begin again. That I could create something new, one choice at a time. And, I did.

This mantra isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about remembering your power to create something meaningful, even in the middle of uncertainty or loss.

A beautiful life rarely arrives fully formed. It’s built—often in the middle of days that feel anything but beautiful. It grows from the choices you make about how you spend your time, who you allow in your life, and what you give your energy to.

When life feels confusing or unsteady, this mantra becomes an anchor. Those moments may feel like endings, but they’re also opportunities to design your life from the inside out.

In those moments you tell yourself: “I am creating a beautiful life. Not someday. Not when everything is perfect. Now.”

What is a beautiful life?

There’s no universal definition. Each of us must decide what beauty means in our own lives. But it helps to begin with the pieces that shape your everyday experience.

1. Your environment

Your surroundings influence how you feel. For me, a beautiful environment is the lake outside my window—water, trees, sky. I need nature. I need color. I need reminders that the world is bigger than whatever I’m worrying about.

Your version may look different:

  • A cozy apartment filled with plants
  • A high-rise view that glows at night
  • A tiny home tucked in the woods
  • A kitchen that smells like coffee and possibility

Ask yourself: What do I want to see when I wake up?  How do I want to feel? What surroundings help me breathe easier? What fills me with gratitude?

If your current environment is anything but beautiful, think about improvements you can make. Just adding plants, a vase of flowers, and a little color can make a big difference.

2. The people you choose to be around

A beautiful life is supported by beautiful relationships—not perfect people, but people who help you grow.

I’ve learned to limit time with chronic complainers, not because I don’t want to help, but because negativity spreads quickly. So does hope. So does courage. So does joy. And those feel so much better.

Consider the people in your life:

  • Who lifts you up?
  • Who drains you?
  • Who believes in your dreams?
  • Who makes you feel small?

A beautiful life is built with people who support your goals—not those who question your sanity when you talk about your dreams.

3. How you spend your time

Time is your most valuable resource . How you use it determines your direction.

An important question to ask yourself is “When was the last time I did something for the first time?”

A beautiful life isn’t lived on autopilot. It’s shaped by curiosity, courage, the willingness to imagine something better for yourself—and to try something new, even if you’re not good at it yet. Especially then.

Trying new things reminds you that you are still growing, still capable, and still becoming. It also allows you to connect with new people who might be better suited to be part of the life you want to create.

A beautiful life begins with one belief

You deserve the best life has to offer. You don’t have to settle. You have the power to shape your future. Don’t hand that power to others by living to please them. You’re the one who lives with the results of your choices—so choose the ones that lead you toward the life you want to create.

A beautiful life isn’t something you find. It’s something you build—with intention, courage, and a deep belief that you deserve more than just surviving.

So when doubt creeps in, or the path feels unclear, return to this mantra. Let it remind you that you’re not waiting for beauty—you’re creating it.

I am creating a beautiful life. And every day, in ways big and small, you already are.

THE MANTRA SERIES: MANTRA #3

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Mantra #2: Now is Not Forever

“Now is Not Forever:” A Mantra for Life’s Ups and Downs

You and I both know how quickly life can change. One moment feels like it will last forever… until it doesn’t. That’s why this mantra means so much to me. It’s a mantra that steadies you in chaos and softens you in joy. It’s helped me savor the good times and survive the hard ones. And it’s been with me ever since a Christmas morning many years ago — a moment I want to share with you. Let me take you back to that morning.

My 4-year-old and 8-year-old daughters were on the floor that Christmas morning, completely absorbed in the magic of tearing through wrapping paper to open their presents and make a mess in our living room. Their laughter filled the room.

My husband looked over and smiled at me, and in that quiet moment — coffee in my hands, our daughters lost in joy, love settling over us like a warm blanket — I felt a wave of tenderness. You’ve had moments like that, too, the warm, fuzzy ones you wish you could freeze.

And it was in the middle of that sweetness that something shifted.

As clearly as if someone had whispered it in my ear, I heard the words: Now is not forever. I felt a sudden ache as I realized this moment was already becoming a memory. It was precious because it was temporary, and I wanted to hold it close before it passed.

If you’ve raised children, you know how quickly those moments slip through your fingers. In that moment, I knew that one day I would look back on this time and want to relive it. I thought to myself, I’m never going to forget this moment because now is not forever.

Cherish the Good Times and Survive the Bad

What I didn’t realize then was how often I would return to those words.

That moment didn’t just stay in the past. It became a mantra I leaned on again and again — especially when life became harder than I ever imagined. This mantra didn’t just help me feel joy; it helped me survive pain. You’ll be surprised how quickly this simple phrase can steady you.

I learned that most clearly during the hardest seasons of my life.

Repeating “now is not forever” carried me through serious illnesses and surgeries, with too much time spent in MRI machines and critical care units. You’ve had these moments too — when you’re scared, exhausted, or wondering how you’ll get through. Repeating this mantra will strengthen you in hard times.

But this mantra isn’t only for the big crises, parenting, or illness. It’s just as powerful during the quieter, confusing in-between times. It can be a compass to help you navigate any personal or professional transition you face.

We’ve all had good relationships that turned bad, and jobs we thought were secure until they weren’t. Loss made you believe you would never be happy or feel safe again — and then you were. Repeating “now is not forever” during lonely, insecure times gives you hope that this feeling won’t last and that you will be happy again.

Change brings a time of transition and a roller‑coaster ride of emotions. You feel the pain of loss alongside the excitement of possibilities. If you don’t have a clear vision of what’s next, you will feel lost and confused during the in‑between phase that seems to last forever.

Repeating “now is not forever” will help you get through the in-between time until you once again feel happy and as if you belong in the new world that change creates.

Because I want this mantra to support you as it has supported me, here are a few simple ways to use it when you need it.

  • Repeat this mantra at any moment you’re feeling impatient, overwhelmed, or just plain miserable. It will calm you and help you gain perspective on your life right now.
  • If you’re struggling, “Now is not forever” offers you hope during difficult times. It means better days are coming; the pain won’t last forever.
  • During times of happiness, “Now is not forever” encourages you to cherish the moment and recognize that even good times change and evolve.
  • When you’re longing to relive a happy moment, “Now is not forever” reminds you of life’s constant flow of change. Instead of longing for the past, focus on how you can experience and treasure the present.

Life keeps moving, and so do we. But the beauty is that new moments always find us.

I can’t relive that moment with my children, but I’ve been fortunate to share similar moments with my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Wherever you find yourself today — in joy, in uncertainty, or simply trying to stay afloat — let this mantra deepen your gratitude for the blessings you’ve received and soften the edges of the challenging moments.

Let it remind you that this moment is not forever. Everything changes. Everything passes. No season lasts forever. And as life shifts around you, this mantra will help you breathe a little easier and trust a little deeper. It will remind you that you’re going to be okay. You always have been. You always will be. You are far more resilient than you know.

Am I Letting Go or Am I Giving Up

As we grow older, reflection becomes inevitable. We may begin to ask ourselves: Have I done enough? Is there more I should be striving for, or is it time to be content? Have I climbed all the mountains I was meant to climb, or should I still be chasing new summits?

Lately, I’ve found myself confronting a vision I once had for this phase of life — a vision that may no longer be realistic. Accepting that is difficult for someone like me, whose philosophy has always been that many things in life are difficult, but few are impossible. I’ve always believed that with enough determination, any goal could be achieved. When something starts to feel out of reach, letting go can feel like I’m giving up.

But is that really the case?

We’ve all seen people in leadership roles hold on long past their time. Staying too long can diminish the impact of their legacy. Letting go, in these cases, could have been a wiser and more dignified decision.

And it’s not just about careers. How many of us have held on to relationships, roles, or dreams long after they stopped serving us? Sometimes, we persist in situations that are clearly no longer working because walking away feels like failure.

We often create a vision of how life should be. But life has a way of shifting — through unexpected challenges, changing priorities, or simply time. When that vision no longer aligns with our reality, we face a difficult choice: Do we keep striving toward what might no longer be possible, or do we accept a new version of life?

Is acceptance the same as surrender? Is letting go a sign of wisdom — or a sign of giving up?

Understanding the difference between the two is key. Here’s how I’ve come to define them:

  • Letting Go is a conscious, intentional decision made after reflection and clarity. It’s about releasing attachments, beliefs, or situations that no longer serve your well-being, to make space for new possibilities. It can bring peace, relief, and a renewed sense of purpose.
  • Giving Up is often reactive. It’s driven by discouragement, fear, self-doubt, or external pressure. It involves abandoning effort and can leave us feeling powerless or regretful, reinforcing a sense of failure.

The difference lies in the motivation behind the choice — and the impact it has on your well-being.

Ask yourself:

  • Does holding on bring you hope, joy, and inspiration?
  • Or does it feel heavy, frustrating, and burdensome?
  • Are you driven by passion — or by fear?

Letting go isn’t weakness. It isn’t quitting. It’s choosing to stop pouring your energy into what no longer brings you joy. It’s choosing peace over struggle, clarity over confusion. Most importantly, it’s choosing to trust that releasing something doesn’t mean you’re left with nothing — it just means you’re making room for something new.

The process of accepting life as it is — rather than as you once imagined it — does not mean you’ve been defeated. Acceptance allows us to find gratitude for what we do have instead of despair over what we’ve lost or were never able to achieve.

Ultimately, whether you decide to let go or to hold on, do it with intention. Understand why you’re making the choice. Evaluate the cost to your mental, emotional, and physical health. And be honest about what you’re fighting for — or what you’re fighting against.

Every decision we make shapes our future. So, choose with clarity. Choose with courage. And above all, choose what honors your growth

The Love of a Pet: A Valentine’s Day Tribute to Our Furry Companions

While Valentine’s Day is often associated with romantic love, there’s another kind of love that deserves celebrating—one that is loyal, pure, and unwavering: the love between humans and their pets.

Whether it’s a devoted dog’s wagging tail or a contented cat’s gentle purr, pets offer us companionship, joy, and an unconditional bond that enriches our lives every day. Pets are more than just animals; they are family, friends, and our most loyal confidants. 

Two years ago, in a moment of insanity and a feeling that it was now or never, my husband and I decided to get a dog. Our reasoning, based on denial, was that if we didn’t get one now, we would be too old to take care of one. What we soon learned, however, was that we were already too old.

We fell in love with a six-week-old golden retriever we named Jackie and took her home to live with us. We soon found ourselves wondering how such a tiny bundle of joy could create such delightful chaos.

My standards for a clean house fell quickly. Shredded puppy pads became part of the décor, and protecting our socks and shoes became our new way of life.

We learned to identify people in our neighborhood who were “dog people” and to avoid those who weren’t. The Dog Park became our social life, and Jackie soon became its queen. Before running off to play with the dogs, she would greet each dog’s parents with friendliness, which always resulted in a belly rub or pat on the head. Our challenge was chasing Jackie around the park when we were ready to go home because she was never ready.

I began reading about dogs’ developmental stages, so I would know what to expect next and be reassured that our current stage wouldn’t last forever. 

We attended puppy training classes that Jackie thought were play time but made us feel like failures as parents. In her first four-week training class, she barked from the beginning to the end of every session while the other dogs sat quietly beside their parents. I’m sure the teacher gave her a passing grade to get rid of her.

We’ve survived 25 months with Jackie, and oh, the joy she has brought us. We can be gone for 30 minutes, and she will greet us as if we have been gone for 30 days. She always gives us something to laugh about, and her love is unconditional. She sits between us on the sofa at night while we’re watching TV and alternates whose face she will lick next.  Woe to you if you sneeze in her presence. All seventy pounds of her will be in your lap with her nose in your face, ensuring you’re ok.

One of the most remarkable aspects of the human-pet relationship is the unwavering loyalty and affection it provides. Unlike human relationships, which can be complex and sometimes unpredictable, pets love without judgment or condition. They are always there to greet us after a long day, comfort us when we’re feeling down, and celebrate with us in our happiest moments.

Beyond the emotional joy pets bring, they also contribute significantly to our well-being. Studies have shown that pet ownership can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and even improve heart health. Petting an animal releases oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and happiness, while also decreasing levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.

For those who suffer from anxiety or depression, pets provide a sense of purpose and routine. They encourage physical activity—whether it’s taking a dog for a walk or playing with a cat—which can boost mental health. Their presence can alleviate feelings of loneliness, providing comfort and companionship in times of need.

To experience the love of a pet, you must also be prepared to accept its loss. I’m told that the pain of losing a pet softens over time, leaving behind a bittersweet reminder of the joy they brought. The loss of my 20-year-old cat, Jasmine, is too recent for me to know for sure.

I adopted Jasmine when she was just a few months old. She was an adventuresome cat I often rescued from the trees beside my balcony. We frequently flew coast to coast together when my consulting business required me to live in other locations for a year or so. Taking an adventuresome cat through airport security is not easy. No matter where I was and what was happening in my life, Jasmine was always there with me. I miss her every day.

Though our pet may no longer be physically by our side, the love we shared endures. Memories of their playfulness and loving companionship are engraved in our hearts as a testament to an unbreakable connection that forever enriches our souls.  

Valentine’s Day is about expressing love; our pets do this every day without words. Their loyalty, companionship, and affection remind us of the beauty of simple, unconditional love. This Valentine’s Day, let’s cherish the love our pets give us so freely—because, in their eyes, every day is a celebration of love.

Let them know how much they mean to you, whether it’s an extra treat, a longer walk, or quiet cuddle time. And if you don’t have a pet, consider rescuing one—somewhere, a pet waiting for you who needs your love, and maybe you need theirs. 

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Soaring With Your Strengths: Sometimes Even Eagles Need a Push!

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.

Helen Keller

I’ve read many versions of the fable about an eagle who thought he was a chicken and have been unable to find the original source.  Dr. Eldon Taylor, author of “Choices and Illusions,” Has an inspiring U-Tube video about the fable that can serve as a “pick-me-up” if you’re having a day when you don’t feel capable of soaring.

I love this story because I believe it illustrates how our life is either limited or expanded by both our day-to-day environment and the limiting beliefs we hold about who we are capable of becoming.

The fable also shows how one individual, who sees the potential we cannot see for ourselves, can provide the push we need to become what we’ve always been capable of being.

I included the story in my book: Defining Moments: Seizing the Power of Second Chances to Create the Life You Desire,” and am sharing below in hopes that it will provide the “lift” you may need to soar.

Continue reading “Soaring With Your Strengths: Sometimes Even Eagles Need a Push!”

Wake Up Rip Van Winkle

There are moments when I feel like Rip Van Winkle waking up from a long winter’s nap and questioning if COVID really happened or was it only a bad dream?

How could something come along so quickly that threatened our lives and livelihood, caused us to question if we would ever feel safe again, force us to make changes we didn’t choose, and then appear to leave us just as quickly?

Is it true that one minute I was on a cruise ship sailing around Australia, and the next I was scrambling to jump on the last flight out as Australia completely closed down and praying to get home before all US flights were grounded?

Did my husband and I really not go out of our house for months only to contact COVID from our four-year-old granddaughter and survive, when so many our age didn’t?

Continue reading “Wake Up Rip Van Winkle”

Second Chances

by Rita Burgett-Martell

It’s never too late to become what you might have been.

George Eliot

When Joe’s manager began the conversation by saying: “I want you to know how grateful we are for your twenty years of valuable service to our company,” Joe expected to hear that he was being promoted, or at least receiving a pay increase. After all, his performance reviews had never been less than stellar.it came as a shock when what he heard next was: “our company is moving in a new direction and unfortunately your skills aren’t the skills we need. We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.”

It was a defining moment when Joe realized that doing a good job no longer guarantees that you’ll keep your job.

Continue reading “Second Chances”