life

Mantra #2: Now is Not Forever

“Now is Not Forever:” A Mantra for Life’s Ups and Downs

You and I both know how quickly life can change. One moment feels like it will last forever… until it doesn’t. That’s why this mantra means so much to me. It’s a mantra that steadies you in chaos and softens you in joy. It’s helped me savor the good times and survive the hard ones. And it’s been with me ever since a Christmas morning many years ago — a moment I want to share with you. Let me take you back to that morning.

My 4-year-old and 8-year-old daughters were on the floor that Christmas morning, completely absorbed in the magic of tearing through wrapping paper to open their presents and make a mess in our living room. Their laughter filled the room.

My husband looked over and smiled at me, and in that quiet moment — coffee in my hands, our daughters lost in joy, love settling over us like a warm blanket — I felt a wave of tenderness. You’ve had moments like that, too, the warm, fuzzy ones you wish you could freeze.

And it was in the middle of that sweetness that something shifted.

As clearly as if someone had whispered it in my ear, I heard the words: Now is not forever. I felt a sudden ache as I realized this moment was already becoming a memory. It was precious because it was temporary, and I wanted to hold it close before it passed.

If you’ve raised children, you know how quickly those moments slip through your fingers. In that moment, I knew that one day I would look back on this time and want to relive it. I thought to myself, I’m never going to forget this moment because now is not forever.

Cherish the Good Times and Survive the Bad

What I didn’t realize then was how often I would return to those words.

That moment didn’t just stay in the past. It became a mantra I leaned on again and again — especially when life became harder than I ever imagined. This mantra didn’t just help me feel joy; it helped me survive pain. You’ll be surprised how quickly this simple phrase can steady you.

I learned that most clearly during the hardest seasons of my life.

Repeating “now is not forever” carried me through serious illnesses and surgeries, with too much time spent in MRI machines and critical care units. You’ve had these moments too — when you’re scared, exhausted, or wondering how you’ll get through. Repeating this mantra will strengthen you in hard times.

But this mantra isn’t only for the big crises, parenting, or illness. It’s just as powerful during the quieter, confusing in-between times. It can be a compass to help you navigate any personal or professional transition you face.

We’ve all had good relationships that turned bad, and jobs we thought were secure until they weren’t. Loss made you believe you would never be happy or feel safe again — and then you were. Repeating “now is not forever” during lonely, insecure times gives you hope that this feeling won’t last and that you will be happy again.

Change brings a time of transition and a roller‑coaster ride of emotions. You feel the pain of loss alongside the excitement of possibilities. If you don’t have a clear vision of what’s next, you will feel lost and confused during the in‑between phase that seems to last forever.

Repeating “now is not forever” will help you get through the in-between time until you once again feel happy and as if you belong in the new world that change creates.

Because I want this mantra to support you as it has supported me, here are a few simple ways to use it when you need it.

Repeat this mantra at any moment you’re feeling impatient, overwhelmed, or just plain miserable. It will calm you and help you gain perspective on your life right now.
If you’re struggling, “Now is not forever” offers you hope during difficult times. It means better days are coming; the pain won’t last forever.
During times of happiness, “Now is not forever” encourages you to cherish the moment and recognize that even good times change and evolve.
When you’re longing to relive a happy moment, “Now is not forever” reminds you of life’s constant flow of change. Instead of longing for the past, focus on how you can experience and treasure the present.

Life keeps moving, and so do we. But the beauty is that new moments always find us.

I can’t relive that moment with my children, but I’ve been fortunate to share similar moments with my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Wherever you find yourself today — in joy, in uncertainty, or simply trying to stay afloat — let this mantra deepen your gratitude for the blessings you’ve received and soften the edges of the challenging moments.

Let it remind you that this moment is not forever. Everything changes. Everything passes. No season lasts forever. And as life shifts around you, this mantra will help you breathe a little easier and trust a little deeper. It will remind you that you’re going to be okay. You always have been. You always will be. You are far more resilient than you know.

The Mantra Series

Mantra #1: What’s Important Now?

A mantra is a small phrase with surprising power — one that helps you stay present and focused. It offers clarity when life feels confusing, perspective when things get stressful, and a reminder that you are more resilient than you realize. Whatever happens, you will be okay.

In a world that feels increasingly chaotic and unpredictable, these small phrases matter more than ever. They help you stay grounded in what’s real and remind you that you can choose what’s important now.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing my top ten mantras — the ones that have guided me through many seasons of life. So, let’s begin with the question that has reshaped my path more times than I can count.

Mantra #1: What’s important now?

This is a powerful question to begin the year with. Your answer becomes a compass — not just for your daily activities, but for your life and what truly matters in your current phase of living.

There are two ways to use this mantra:

1. The Practical Application

“What’s important now?” is a tool for improving productivity and staying focused on what truly deserves your attention.

When everything feels urgent, this question helps you decide what matters, what can wait, and what can be released altogether. It keeps your time aligned with your real priorities and your energy directed toward what actually moves life forward.

I often ask myself: What will happen if this thing I think is urgent doesn’t get done? Will it matter in a week, a month, or a year? Usually, the answer is no.

2. The Deeper Application

The second use of this mantra is more meaningful: it helps you clarify how you want to experience life right now.

After many years of coaching people through major transitions, I’ve noticed something consistent: the happiest people are those aligned with what’s important in the season they’re actually living. Many of us continue operating from a previous phase of life — even when it no longer fits who we are.

Life moves in seasons. As the familiar verse reminds us, “For everything there is a season. A time and place for every purpose under the sun.” Each season asks something different from us. When we’re not aligned with that season, nothing feels quite right. We feel out of place — because we are.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing we must have it all and do it all now. But we don’t. We can’t. And we’re not meant to. Life unfolds like a book with many chapters, and not everything belongs in chapter one.

Asking “What’s important now?” brings you back into alignment with your real priorities — the ones that match the season you’re living in, not the last one or the one you think you “should” be in.

Looking back, I can see how much better life worked when I honored the purpose of the season I was in — and how stressful it felt when I resisted it.

This question simplifies decision-making. You only need to ask whether the choice in front of you aligns with the purpose of your season. If it does, you move forward. If it doesn’t, you let it go.

We’re living longer than generations before us, which means more seasons to experience and more chapters to write. This may be your season to prioritize family, career, travel, learning, health, service, creativity, or simply savoring life and feeling grateful for all the chapters you’ve lived.

A Closing Thought

When life feels uncertain, this simple question brings you back to yourself. “What’s important now?” It doesn’t demand perfection — only presence. You don’t have to have everything figured out. You only need to know what matters right now.

Let this question steady you, simplify your choices, and bring you back into alignment with your season of life.

One question. One moment. One chapter at a time.

Am I Letting Go or Am I Giving Up

As we grow older, reflection becomes inevitable. We may begin to ask ourselves: Have I done enough? Is there more I should be striving for, or is it time to be content? Have I climbed all the mountains I was meant to climb, or should I still be chasing new summits?

Lately, I’ve found myself confronting a vision I once had for this phase of life — a vision that may no longer be realistic. Accepting that is difficult for someone like me, whose philosophy has always been that many things in life are difficult, but few are impossible. I’ve always believed that with enough determination, any goal could be achieved. When something starts to feel out of reach, letting go can feel like I’m giving up.

But is that really the case?

We’ve all seen people in leadership roles hold on long past their time. Staying too long can diminish the impact of their legacy. Letting go, in these cases, could have been a wiser and more dignified decision.

And it’s not just about careers. How many of us have held on to relationships, roles, or dreams long after they stopped serving us? Sometimes, we persist in situations that are clearly no longer working because walking away feels like failure.

We often create a vision of how life should be. But life has a way of shifting — through unexpected challenges, changing priorities, or simply time. When that vision no longer aligns with our reality, we face a difficult choice: Do we keep striving toward what might no longer be possible, or do we accept a new version of life?

Is acceptance the same as surrender? Is letting go a sign of wisdom — or a sign of giving up?

Understanding the difference between the two is key. Here’s how I’ve come to define them:

Letting Go is a conscious, intentional decision made after reflection and clarity. It’s about releasing attachments, beliefs, or situations that no longer serve your well-being, to make space for new possibilities. It can bring peace, relief, and a renewed sense of purpose.
Giving Up is often reactive. It’s driven by discouragement, fear, self-doubt, or external pressure. It involves abandoning effort and can leave us feeling powerless or regretful, reinforcing a sense of failure.

The difference lies in the motivation behind the choice — and the impact it has on your well-being.

Ask yourself:

Does holding on bring you hope, joy, and inspiration?
Or does it feel heavy, frustrating, and burdensome?
Are you driven by passion — or by fear?

Letting go isn’t weakness. It isn’t quitting. It’s choosing to stop pouring your energy into what no longer brings you joy. It’s choosing peace over struggle, clarity over confusion. Most importantly, it’s choosing to trust that releasing something doesn’t mean you’re left with nothing — it just means you’re making room for something new.

The process of accepting life as it is — rather than as you once imagined it — does not mean you’ve been defeated. Acceptance allows us to find gratitude for what we do have instead of despair over what we’ve lost or were never able to achieve.

Ultimately, whether you decide to let go or to hold on, do it with intention. Understand why you’re making the choice. Evaluate the cost to your mental, emotional, and physical health. And be honest about what you’re fighting for — or what you’re fighting against.

Every decision we make shapes our future. So, choose with clarity. Choose with courage. And above all, choose what honors your growth

Soaring With Your Strengths: Sometimes Even Eagles Need a Push!

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
Helen Keller

I’ve read many versions of the fable about an eagle who thought he was a chicken and have been unable to find the original source. Dr. Eldon Taylor, author of “Choices and Illusions,” Has an inspiring U-Tube video about the fable that can serve as a “pick-me-up” if you’re having a day when you don’t feel capable of soaring.

I love this story because I believe it illustrates how our life is either limited or expanded by both our day-to-day environment and the limiting beliefs we hold about who we are capable of becoming.

The fable also shows how one individual, who sees the potential we cannot see for ourselves, can provide the push we need to become what we’ve always been capable of being.

I included the story in my book: “Defining Moments: Seizing the Power of Second Chances to Create the Life You Desire,” and am sharing below in hopes that it will provide the “lift” you may need to soar.

Wake Up Rip Van Winkle

There are moments when I feel like Rip Van Winkle waking up from a long winter’s nap and questioning if COVID really happened or was it only a bad dream?

How could something come along so quickly that threatened our lives and livelihood, caused us to question if we would ever feel safe again, force us to make changes we didn’t choose, and then appear to leave us just as quickly?

Is it true that one minute I was on a cruise ship sailing around Australia, and the next I was scrambling to jump on the last flight out as Australia completely closed down and praying to get home before all US flights were grounded?

Did my husband and I really not go out of our house for months only to contact COVID from our four-year-old granddaughter and survive, when so many our age didn’t?

Riding the Roller Coaster of Unexpected Change — Part II

From the moment you realize change is inevitable to the moment you begin to feel comfortable again, you experience an in-between and uncomfortable time of transition. For a time, you’re carrying both the weight of the past and uncertainty about the future. It may feel like a huge stone tied to your back, making it difficult to move forward.

There will be moments when you feel exhilarated about new opportunities change creates. And then, there will be moments filled with fear about what lies before you that makes it difficult to keep going.

As you begin walking a different path, you will likely encounter obstacles to overcome, barriers to breakthrough and challenges that could make you consider running back to the world you left behind. But, there is no ‘going back’ to go back to. Every change you experience changes you. You are not the person you use to be and you are not yet the person you have the potential to become.

There are actions you can take during this in-between time to make your roller coaster ride through transition triggered by unexpected change a little smoother:

Changing The Way, You Think About You: How to Rethink Your Way To A Happier Life

by Rita Burgett-Martell

Here’s a quiz to help you identify behaviors that may be undermining your self-confidence and preventing you from living the life you desire. Respond with a simple “yes” or “no” answer to each statement and then tally up the number of yeses.

1. I often compare myself to others.

2. I make decisions based on what others tell me I should do.

3. I would have to honestly say I sometimes take my family for granted.

4. I find myself thinking more about the past or worrying more about the future instead of focusing on what’s happening in the present moment.

5. I often give up on my goals when things aren’t going my way.

6. I believe that if I do something less than perfectly, I’ve failed.

7. I play it safe. Taking risks is not for me.

8. I sometimes believe I will never fall in love, and if I do it won’t last.

9. I used to dream about the life I wanted, but not anymore. Dreams are a waste of time.

10. I’m always rushing to get things done and seldom have time to “smell the roses.”

Did you respond with “yes – that describes me” – to more than 2 or 3? It’s ok if you did because there’s no pass or fail. The purpose of the quiz is to increase your awareness of thoughts and behaviors you can change that will make a positive difference in how you see yourself and react to those around you.

The quiz is based on one of my favorite poems by Nancye Sims called “A Creed to Live By.” I’m including it below, followed by a modified version that exams each statement and thoughts triggered for me that changed my thinking and put me on the path to experience a more fulfilling life. I hope they will help you as well.

Second Chances

by Rita Burgett-Martell

“It’s never too late to become what you might have been.”
George Eliot

When Joe’s manager began the conversation by saying: “I want you to know how grateful we are for your twenty years of valuable service to our company,” Joe expected to hear that he was being promoted, or at least receiving a pay increase. After all, his performance reviews had never been less than stellar.it came as a shock when what he heard next was: “our company is moving in a new direction and unfortunately your skills aren’t the skills we need. We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.”

It was a defining moment when Joe realized that doing a good job no longer guarantees that you’ll keep your job.

How To Be A Leader People Want To Follow

by Rita Burgett-Martell

“The days of Command and Control are over. Today’s leaders must Trust and Inspire their employees to be trusted as leaders.”
Tweet

I was a shy sixteen years old, afraid of my own shadow, the summer I worked as a Nurse’s Aide at our local hospital. The Director of Nursing was a strong loud woman that I found very intimidating. Whenever I saw her coming I would turn and go the other direction, or look for someplace to hide.

One day she stopped beside me, put her arm around my shoulder, and said: “I want you to look at my shoes.”

I immediately thought there must be something wrong with my shoes. They were the wrong kind. They weren’t as white as hers. They weren’t laced up correctly. I was literally “shaking in my shoes,” expecting to be criticized or reprimanded. Instead, her words taught me a valuable lesson in leadership that has served me well in my career.

How To Feel Secure In Insecure Times

by Rita Burgett-Martell

How well are you managing change and disruption caused by COVID-19? Listen to my interview on “The Evolutionary Power of Change and Disruption” with Gwilda Wiyaka, host of Mission Evolution Radio, and learn what you can do to feel secure in insecure times.

It’s 4 a.m. and you are wide awake, worrying about all the bad things that could happen, feeling anxious, and unable to sleep. The fear you are feeling is self-imposed instead of a reaction to what is actually happening because at the present moment you are safe. There is nothing to be afraid of other than the imaginary reality that you have allowed the power of fear to create in your mind.

Sleeping at 4 a.m. is not easy when you are living in the misery of uncertainty, as many of us are with all that is happening in our external world plus our internal imagination-induced fears, We do not like the feeling of being out of control of our life and we do not like being in a position not knowing what’s going to happen next. We need to fill in the blanks. When you are awake at 4 a.m., you probably are not imagining a happy future and will likely fill in the blanks with what you fear will happen instead of what you desire to happen. You easily become trapped in a fear-driven thought cycle instead of a faith-driven cycle focused on pleasurable possibilities.

In 2020 we are faced with very real threats to our health and financial security that many of us have never experienced and never thought we would. This has been a rapid unexpected and unwanted change that we must deal with. Fear prevents us from thinking clearly about what we can do to minimize the threat to our wellbeing. It renders us helpless and blinds our vision to what we can do to stay healthy and keep the money flowing to keep a roof over our head and food on the table.

Although we do not like being in an undefined place between the past and the future, that is where we live. It is called the present moment. And, as you know, it is all you ever really control. If you once thought you had created a secure, controllable, and predictable life for yourself, you may be realizing that this was an illusion. There is much that is beyond our control and nothing stays the same forever.

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