carer tips

Soaring With Your Strengths: Sometimes Even Eagles Need a Push!

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
Helen Keller

I’ve read many versions of the fable about an eagle who thought he was a chicken and have been unable to find the original source. Dr. Eldon Taylor, author of “Choices and Illusions,” Has an inspiring U-Tube video about the fable that can serve as a “pick-me-up” if you’re having a day when you don’t feel capable of soaring.

I love this story because I believe it illustrates how our life is either limited or expanded by both our day-to-day environment and the limiting beliefs we hold about who we are capable of becoming.

The fable also shows how one individual, who sees the potential we cannot see for ourselves, can provide the push we need to become what we’ve always been capable of being.

I included the story in my book: “Defining Moments: Seizing the Power of Second Chances to Create the Life You Desire,” and am sharing below in hopes that it will provide the “lift” you may need to soar.

Changing The Way, You Think About You: How to Rethink Your Way To A Happier Life

by Rita Burgett-Martell

Here’s a quiz to help you identify behaviors that may be undermining your self-confidence and preventing you from living the life you desire. Respond with a simple “yes” or “no” answer to each statement and then tally up the number of yeses.

1. I often compare myself to others.

2. I make decisions based on what others tell me I should do.

3. I would have to honestly say I sometimes take my family for granted.

4. I find myself thinking more about the past or worrying more about the future instead of focusing on what’s happening in the present moment.

5. I often give up on my goals when things aren’t going my way.

6. I believe that if I do something less than perfectly, I’ve failed.

7. I play it safe. Taking risks is not for me.

8. I sometimes believe I will never fall in love, and if I do it won’t last.

9. I used to dream about the life I wanted, but not anymore. Dreams are a waste of time.

10. I’m always rushing to get things done and seldom have time to “smell the roses.”

Did you respond with “yes – that describes me” – to more than 2 or 3? It’s ok if you did because there’s no pass or fail. The purpose of the quiz is to increase your awareness of thoughts and behaviors you can change that will make a positive difference in how you see yourself and react to those around you.

The quiz is based on one of my favorite poems by Nancye Sims called “A Creed to Live By.” I’m including it below, followed by a modified version that exams each statement and thoughts triggered for me that changed my thinking and put me on the path to experience a more fulfilling life. I hope they will help you as well.

Second Chances

by Rita Burgett-Martell

“It’s never too late to become what you might have been.”
George Eliot

When Joe’s manager began the conversation by saying: “I want you to know how grateful we are for your twenty years of valuable service to our company,” Joe expected to hear that he was being promoted, or at least receiving a pay increase. After all, his performance reviews had never been less than stellar.it came as a shock when what he heard next was: “our company is moving in a new direction and unfortunately your skills aren’t the skills we need. We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.”

It was a defining moment when Joe realized that doing a good job no longer guarantees that you’ll keep your job.

How To Be A Leader People Want To Follow

by Rita Burgett-Martell

“The days of Command and Control are over. Today’s leaders must Trust and Inspire their employees to be trusted as leaders.”
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I was a shy sixteen years old, afraid of my own shadow, the summer I worked as a Nurse’s Aide at our local hospital. The Director of Nursing was a strong loud woman that I found very intimidating. Whenever I saw her coming I would turn and go the other direction, or look for someplace to hide.

One day she stopped beside me, put her arm around my shoulder, and said: “I want you to look at my shoes.”

I immediately thought there must be something wrong with my shoes. They were the wrong kind. They weren’t as white as hers. They weren’t laced up correctly. I was literally “shaking in my shoes,” expecting to be criticized or reprimanded. Instead, her words taught me a valuable lesson in leadership that has served me well in my career.

How To Feel Secure In Insecure Times

by Rita Burgett-Martell

How well are you managing change and disruption caused by COVID-19? Listen to my interview on “The Evolutionary Power of Change and Disruption” with Gwilda Wiyaka, host of Mission Evolution Radio, and learn what you can do to feel secure in insecure times.

It’s 4 a.m. and you are wide awake, worrying about all the bad things that could happen, feeling anxious, and unable to sleep. The fear you are feeling is self-imposed instead of a reaction to what is actually happening because at the present moment you are safe. There is nothing to be afraid of other than the imaginary reality that you have allowed the power of fear to create in your mind.

Sleeping at 4 a.m. is not easy when you are living in the misery of uncertainty, as many of us are with all that is happening in our external world plus our internal imagination-induced fears, We do not like the feeling of being out of control of our life and we do not like being in a position not knowing what’s going to happen next. We need to fill in the blanks. When you are awake at 4 a.m., you probably are not imagining a happy future and will likely fill in the blanks with what you fear will happen instead of what you desire to happen. You easily become trapped in a fear-driven thought cycle instead of a faith-driven cycle focused on pleasurable possibilities.

In 2020 we are faced with very real threats to our health and financial security that many of us have never experienced and never thought we would. This has been a rapid unexpected and unwanted change that we must deal with. Fear prevents us from thinking clearly about what we can do to minimize the threat to our wellbeing. It renders us helpless and blinds our vision to what we can do to stay healthy and keep the money flowing to keep a roof over our head and food on the table.

Although we do not like being in an undefined place between the past and the future, that is where we live. It is called the present moment. And, as you know, it is all you ever really control. If you once thought you had created a secure, controllable, and predictable life for yourself, you may be realizing that this was an illusion. There is much that is beyond our control and nothing stays the same forever.

Everything I Know About Change I Learned From My Cats

When one door closes another one opens. Often we look so long at the one that’s closed we fail to see the one that’s opened.
Helen Keller

A few years ago, I started a new project that required me to live on the East Coast. My two cats, Jasmine and Ginger, and I flew cross-country to our temporary home. They were eager to escape from their cat carriers after our long flight. Following the advice of my vet, to introduce them to their new home one room at a time, I confined them initially to the bathroom and bedroom.

I closed the door to the living room and let each cat out of her carrier. Ginger immediately ran under the bed and didn’t venture out until the next day. Jasmine headed for the closed door, eager to discover what was on the other side. She wouldn’t take no for an answer so I opened the door to let her roam. She hesitantly placed one paw on the shiny wood floor to make sure it was safe and then took off and spent the next few hours exploring her new home, while Ginger continued to hide under the bed. They both experienced the same change but responded in different ways.

The thought struck me that cats have the same reaction to change as people. Some, like Jasmine, see change as an adventure and choose to explore the new world on the other side of the door. Others, like Ginger, prefer to hide under the bed and avoid experiencing anything different until forced to.

It’s not the change that makes the difference. It’s what we think about the change. It’s the internal battle between the fear of the unknown vs. the expectation that change will open the door to something better.
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Changing The Way You Think About Uncertainty

The Key to Mastering Uncertainty

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~ John Allen Paulos

It’s 4 a.m. and you’re wide awake, thinking about all the bad things that might happen in your career, relationships, and life in general.

These thoughts are creating anxiety that is preventing you from sleeping. But, any fear you are feeling is self-imposed and created by thinking about a scary future rather than focusing on the reality of what’s happening in the present. Because, at the present moment, you are safe. There is nothing to fear other than what is being created by your imagination.

We’re very good at using the power of our imagination at 4 a.m. Maybe that’s when we should schedule our team calls. Everyone awake at 4 a.m. can get together and redirect the power of imaging bad things to imaging phenomenal things! Just call 1-800 No Worry.

In all seriousness, when you are living in the misery of uncertainty about what’s next in your life, sleeping at 4 a.m. is not easy to do. We don’t like the feeling of not being in control of our life. We don’t like not knowing. We need to fill in the blanks about what’s likely to happen next.

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The Key to Mastering Uncertainty

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