Wake Up Rip Van Winkle

There are moments when I feel like Rip Van Winkle waking up from a long winter’s nap and questioning if COVID really happened or was it only a bad dream?

How could something come along so quickly that threatened our lives and livelihood, caused us to question if we would ever feel safe again, force us to make changes we didn’t choose, and then appear to leave us just as quickly?

Is it true that one minute I was on a cruise ship sailing around Australia, and the next I was scrambling to jump on the last flight out as Australia completely closed down and praying to get home before all US flights were grounded?

Did my husband and I really not go out of our house for months only to contact COVID from our four-year-old granddaughter and survive, when so many our age didn’t?

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Abandoned In Australia Coming Home

A cruise around the world sounded like such an amazing adventure to undertake, a perfect celebration of turning 70, and a safe and relaxing way to go places I have never been while being pampered along the way. The possibility that Holland America could force me off the ship in a foreign country, with 4 days’ notice and no assistance on how to get home, didn’t occur to me. A cruise ship would never treat its passengers this way, after all, they have a responsibility to take them safely back home. Apparently not.

Abandoned In Australia Coming Home

A cruise around the world sounded like such an amazing adventure to undertake, a perfect celebration of turning 70, and a safe and relaxing way to go places I have never been while being pampered along the way.  The possibility that Holland America could force me off the ship in a foreign country, with 4 days’ notice and no assistance on how to get home, didn’t occur to me. A cruise ship would never treat its passengers this way, after all,  they have a responsibility to take them safely back home.  Apparently not.

After abandoning passengers at the dock in Fremantle Australia on Sunday, March 21st, the Amsterdam sailed back to Ft Lauderdale with our luggage, which will hopefully be shipped to us one day, but without the 1300 passengers who paid for an around the world cruise. I was completely on my own in a country 11,111 miles from home in the middle of a pandemic, with an upper respiratory infection diagnosed by the ship’s doctor the day before the Medical Clinic was closed to passengers,  a deep cough that sounded like a foghorn and attracted a lot of unwanted attention, and no testing to prove that I didn’t have the Corona Virus.

The ship had not provided passengers with any information about how to answer questions from immigration,  the hotel or airport about our time in Australia. Surprisingly, Immigration asked no questions, conducted no health check, nor took our temperature. I was relieved because my voice was hoarse, and I knew I would start coughing if I had to speak for very long to answer questions.

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Getting Older Is Getting Younger

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, but it seems to me that what was once considered old age is no longer old. It’s not just that people are looking younger than past generations have at their age, from what I’m observing, they’re also acting younger.

A motivating factor for going on this cruise was a belief that I’ve moved into a decade of life that is classified as “old,”  and should go while I’m still physically able to enjoy traveling.  But meeting so many people who are several years older than I am is rapidly changing my belief about age-imposed limits.

One of the cruise ship’s doctors was seated at my dinner table last week and mentioned that the average age of passengers onboard is 83.  I knew that the oldest passenger is 98, but I didn’t realize that the average age was over 80. I look around me and I observe people who clearly aren’t young, but who don’t act old – or at least aren’t behaving in a way we once believed appropriate for a person over a certain age.

There are a small number of people on the ship who use canes, walkers, scooters, or are in wheelchairs, but they’re still going on a cruise around the world. They aren’t sitting at home in front of the TV thinking about the life they once had or could have if they were younger and healthier.  They’re going places despite the physical limitations of getting older. Think about how many wheelchairs you see in airports these days.

Of course, cruising does attract an older demographic because it is less physically demanding than other forms of travel, but it still requires a lot of walking to get to different areas of the ship and go on tours when we are in port. When we’re at sea I average walking two miles a day just going from place to place onboard in addition to the two miles I walk around the ship as daily exercise. And then there’s all the dancing on the ship. Someone’s always dancing somewhere. There are dance lessons during the day and dancing in two locations every night. I look at the people who are dancing and they aren’t young, but they’re still walking and dancing on a ship that is often rolling from side to side or up and down.

I realize that my fellow passengers may not be representative demographics of the larger over 80 population.  They have the financial means to eat healthily, engage in activities that support mental stimulation, and connect with people who are active instead of living in isolation as many seniors do. And yes, there are grumpy old people onboard who never smile and will be miserable anywhere they go, just as you can find people in their 20’s and 30’s who are prematurely grumpy.  Who wants to model them?

We’ve learned from multiple studies that key factors contributing to a long healthy life are relationships, exercise, and diet; but I’m observing the behaviors, attitude, and mindset described below in my fellow passengers that I believe contribute as well.

1.       Talk more about the future more than the past. The future my fellow passengers often talk about is their next cruise, but the point is that they have something to look forward to. People who talk more about the past than the future typically can’t envision a future that is as enjoyable than their past and can develop the belief that there is nothing to look forward to. Their best years are behind them.

2.       Focus on what you want to experience instead of what you believe you must accomplish.  If you’re old enough to be classified as old you’ve probably already accomplished enough for a lifetime, plus it sounds like work. Instead, think about how you want to experience life at this stage of your life. I seldom hear anyone on the ship talk about the career or profession they’ve retired from, but they do talk about the experiences they want to have.  

3.       Engage with people who are active and share your outlook on life. It’s easy to become isolated when you don’t have a job to go to every day that also provides an outlet to build relationships with others who have similar interests. You must make an effort to find religious, charitable, political, and educational organizations that provide the structure to form relationships that your job once did.  The attitude and behavior of people you spend time with can limit or expand your view of what’s possible for you at any age.  If your friends sit around and complain, you’re likely to as well. Not fun.

We can’t stop the aging process but there are steps we can take to turn getting older into feeling younger, even with a few aches and pains.

Something to think about.

Around The World With Rita

My philosophy for many years had been to make decisions based on faith and not on fear. I begin to question if that was how I was living my life. #yourchangeguru

If not now, when?

Why am I doing this?  Isn’t this financially irresponsible?  After all, I’m not getting any younger.

It’s December 26, 2017 and I’m in the ER waiting for the doctor to tell me I can go home, take Tylenol, drink plenty of fluids and I’ll be fine. What I hear instead is “you could be dead in 3 days. You have liver failure, pneumonia, and there’s a spot on your lung that’s consistent with Lung Cancer.”  Since my reaction to bad news is typically to argue against it, I looked at the doctor and said: “You must have my medical records mixed up with someone else’s. I’ve never had liver problems or smoked, and I’m sure I have the flu. Young doctor looked at me, shook his head and said, “we’re admitting you.”

It would be two months before the pneumonia cleared up enough for a scan to show that the spot on my lung was a granuloma and not Lung Cancer; and, for my liver numbers to get back to normal and confirm the problem with my liver was caused from taking too much Tylenol in too short a period from a combination of flu, cold, cough, and pain medicine. I now know too much Tylenol can kill you.

Two months is a long time to try your best not to imagine the worst. It’s also long enough to think about how you want to experience the future, if you have one.

I thought about choices I had made about how to live my life until that time in my life. My philosophy for many years had been to make decisions based on faith and not on fear. I begin to question if that was how I was living my life.

The moment I realized the ER doctor was talking about me and that I could be dead in 3 days, the thought that popped into my head was “I should have spent my money.” I had worked hard to save and make financially responsible choices because I was afraid of not having enough money to live on in my old, old, age.  Now, I began to realize I might not have an old, old, age. “I could have taken a trip around the world with some of that money, I thought, now I never will.”

Fast forward 2 years into the future and here I am – cruising around the world for the next 4 months. Was the decision to do this a mistake? Will I run out of money in my old, old age? Maybe. All I know for sure is that while I’m living, I’m going to live. I will not let fear of what might happen keep me from exploring what could happen.

That’s how I want to experience life at this stage of my life, and that’s my answer to the question “why?”

What about you?  How do you want to experience life at this stage of your life?

Something to think about.