A Mantra that gives you power over indecisiveness
There’s a voice inside you that whispers all day long: “This feels right.” or “Nope, absolutely not.”
And then there’s the other voice — the one that says, “But they’re an expert, or they know what’s best for me. And what will THEY think if I don’t follow their advice?”
Guess which one usually gets us into trouble.
No teacher, parent, friend, or expert can know what’s right for your life better than you — but we often forget that and let others decide for us.
We make choices every day — some small, some life‑changing. Some turn out beautifully, and some… not so much. Over the years, I’ve noticed a pattern:
My best choices came from trusting myself, but my worst ones happened when I depended more on others’ advice than my own intuition.
Let me share a few examples.
When I was about to become a new mom, I traded my 1966 red Mustang for a Pinto station wagon because everyone said it was the “responsible” choice for a mom. Bad decision. I regretted it every single day. That car would be worth over $50,000 today.
Then there was the time I moved my successful business to a new location because the “business experts” said it was a smart move. My gut told me no, but I went along with them anyway. Those of you who’ve read my book know it as my “mistake on the lake.” It was exactly that—a mistake. A very costly one.
But here’s the fun part: the decisions everyone else thought were terrible turned out to be some of the best of my life.
I chose a contract on the East Coast instead of one near my home on the West Coast because it felt right. The West Coast project was longer and required no travel, but I had a strong feeling I was meant to be on the East Coast. People thought I’d lost my mind, but that contract on the East Coast lasted three years—and I met my husband. It was a good decision.
I made another smart decision seventeen years ago when I bought a house on the lake in Nashville. Friends and family questioned everything: the size, the distance, the cost, my sanity. I knew I would keep living in Sausalito until I semi-retired, but I felt strongly that buying the house was a good choice.
I split my time between Nashville and Sausalito for ten years, and now I live in my lake house, which has more than tripled in value. Another smart decision, based on what felt right for me rather than what others said was right.
So yes, there’s a pattern: my inner voice has a better track record than “they” do.
Trusting yourself is an act of courage. It means taking responsibility for your life, rather than outsourcing your choices to people who don’t have to live with the consequences.
Decision making is a skill, and like any skill, it gets better with practice. Here are five steps that help you build trust and confidence in your ability to make the best decision for yourself.
1. Prioritize
We can feel overwhelmed by the decisions we believe we must make now, but not every decision needs to be made today, and some might not even need to be made this month. A good decision often eliminates several unnecessary ones. Focus on the decisions you see as critical and that you have enough information to make.
2. Own the Decision
When you’re unsure, it’s tempting to turn your decision into a group project by asking everyone what you should do or what they would choose. But remember, people give you advice based on who they think you are — not who you’re going to be. And they don’t have to live with the outcome. You do.
3. Define the Outcome
What does success look like?
And please — visualize the best outcome, not a disaster movie version. If you’re choosing between two cities, envision yourself living in each. Walk the neighborhood in your mind. Try out life in each one. Which feels right? Which supports the life you want to experience?
4. Know Your Risk Tolerance
Are you more comfortable taking a big leap or small steps? What’s the realistic downside? How can you minimize it? Think about the risks you’ve taken before — the ones that brought you here. You’ve survived 100% of your decisions so far. It’s time to trust yourself and step out of your comfort zone. Life has a way of working out. Even if you make the wrong choice, you can adjust.
5. Look Backward to Move Forward
What would your current self tell the “you” from ten years ago when you were struggling to make an overwhelming decision? Would you tell your younger self, “Don’t worry about it.” Everything will turn out great.”
Now imagine your future self speaking to you today. Would they say, “Go for it — this decision will be the best you’ve ever made, and you’ll regret not taking the risk?” That perspective often provides the clarity you need to move forward.
Someone once told me to flip a coin when I’m torn. Assign a choice to each side of the coin. If it lands on heads and your first thought is, “Best two out of three,” congratulations — you already know what you want. The decision isn’t the problem. Not trusting yourself is
As a child, you lived with the consequences of choices made by others. As an adult, you have the power to choose for yourself. The question is whether you’re still letting others make choices for you — or if you’re ready to trust yourself to build the life you want.
Let this be your mantra, “I Trust Myself to Make the Best Decision” – and your compass — guiding you toward the life you desire.
Something to think about
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