There are moments when I feel like Rip Van Winkle waking up from a long winter’s nap and questioning if COVID really happened or was it only a bad dream?
How could something come along so quickly that threatened our lives and livelihood, caused us to question if we would ever feel safe again, force us to make changes we didn’t choose, and then appear to leave us just as quickly?
Is it true that one minute I was on a cruise ship sailing around Australia, and the next I was scrambling to jump on the last flight out as Australia completely closed down and praying to get home before all US flights were grounded?
Did my husband and I really not go out of our house for months only to contact COVID from our four-year-old granddaughter and survive, when so many our age didn’t?
COVID wasn’t a bad dream we are waking up from. It was real and it forced us to quickly adapt to changes we likely would never have chosen. As we move away from the limits of COVID, what are we moving to?
Change has a ripple effect, one change leads to another change, and COVID triggered changes that affected multiple areas of our lives. Are we the same as before the Pandemic? Probably not.
We’ve moved through the transition process triggered by change, beginning with denial that COVID was real, fear when we realized COVID was very real as people around us became sick and some died, confusion about what to do – to mask or not to mask –and relief mixed with anticipation as we optimistically move into the post-COVID world.
I believe we’re just beginning to realize that COVID was more than a pandemic. It was an experience that triggered a defining moment for many of us and led us to reexamine our values, goals, relationships, and careers. It shined a spotlight on what was and wasn’t working.
We describe a defining moment in our life in terms of “before and after.” Before 911. After 911. Before I had children. After I had children. Before COVID. After COVID. It is a moment you don’t forget that changes you in both positive and negative ways. It can make you more confident or more fearful. It can open your eyes to unlimited possibilities for your life or narrow your vision to see none at all. It triggers an evaluation of different areas of your life and reveals changes required to experience a more fulfilling life at this phase of your life. A defining moment is an experience that redefines how you see yourself, your choices, and your future.
Was COVID a defining moment for you or only an inconvenience?
Are you resuming your pre-COVID life because you’ve realized that this is the life you want?
Have you learned that you really enjoy spending time alone and don’t need to go to all the social events that monopolized your time and drained your energy?
Have you discovered that you really do like spending time with your partner and your relationship is very good after all?
Or has it strengthened the discontent you felt in different areas of your life before COVID and reinforced your need to make changes in your career, relationships, or how you want to experience life at this stage of your life?
We probably all know people who decided to relocate to areas they believe provided a healthier environment for their family and employees who are more productive working from home and don’t want to go back to the office and disrupt the work/life balance they experienced during COVID. Both groups are willing to leave their current employer if they aren’t supportive of their choices and employers are waking up to the new reality that they have to be more flexible if they want to retain their workforce.
For once in my life, I’ve discovered that I love my life. It’s rich, full, and nothing needs to change. I don’t even need to lose that 15 pounds I always thought I needed to lose. I don’t feel like I have any more mountains to climb, or anything left to prove. I’ve transitioned from a time of thinking I must constantly achieve something and travel to as many places as possible to a stage of life when I can enjoy spending time with my husband and family at our home on the lake.
I look back over my life and see missed opportunities and many things I could have done better but feel good about the path I chose and know I did the best I could in anything I undertook.
Getting to this stage required me to embrace this phase of my life, with all its aches and pains, be clear about what really matters now, enjoy the present moment instead of thinking about what’s next, and focus more on what brings me joy now and less on what causes frustration.
In 35 years of working with clients I’ve observed that those who feel the most discontent are ones who are confused about what really matters most to them in their current phase of life. Often because they are doing what they think they “should” do instead of investing time and energy in what they really want to do, and not being honest about what brings them joy instead of frustration.
I believe the phrase from Ecclesiastes, “For everything there is a season,” provides guidance for living a fulfilling life. There are stages in life when we focus on creation, achievement and climbing those mountains; times when we take a pause to relax, reflect, and regroup; phases when we want an active social life and times when we enjoy being alone. There are stretches of our life when career will be the priority, others when family will be our main focus, and times when we feel overwhelmed because everything seems to be a priority.
We will experience all of these phases if we’re blessed to live a long life. The key to living a fulfilling life, is clarity about how you want to experience life in this stage, understanding what’s most important now, and having the courage to make changes to create the life you want. For everything there is a season.
If you feel like Rip Van Winkle waking up to a world that’s changed while you’ve been asleep, ask yourself what changes in you are you waking up to? Now that you can begin to move through the limits of COVID, what are you moving to?
Something to think about.
Read my books to learn more about how you can become more successful in your life and career.
Over the past 30 years, Rita Burgett Martell has provided career and change management coaching to thousands of individuals across multiple industries, professions, and countries. She is the author of two books: “Change Ready!” and “Defining Moments: Seizing the Power of Change to Create the Life You Want.”
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© Rita Burgett-Martell; Organizational Change Consultant, Keynote Speaker, Executive Career & Life Coach – Strategic Transformations Consulting Inc; (415) 806-9484–www.amazon.com/author/ritaburgettmartell | author of Change Ready! And Defining Moments
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