Dirty Doxen #7
The reason so many people fail to achieve their goals is they give up when they run into obstacles that they had not anticipated or fail to achieve success as quickly as they had hoped. Instead of making a new or modified plan for how they will achieve their goals, they make excuses to justify why they can’t.
Excuses provide cover ups that hide the real reason for failing. It implies that an external factor we can do nothing about is to blame. The real reason may be as simple as “I just don’t want to.” But, if we were able to be honest with ourselves, we wouldn’t need excuses. So, we try to make our excuse the cause of not succeeding.
What differentiates a legitimate reason from an excuse is that when someone provides a reason for why something has or has not happened, a solution is offered. People who make excuses aren’t really looking for a solution. Making excuses can become a habit if nothing changes. If you clog up your life with excuses, you become a person of inaction unable to make decisions. You stay stuck in a life you may have outgrown.
We all make excuses for the things we don’t do, the promises we don’t keep to ourselves or others, the challenges and opportunities we don’t pursue. Our egos try to protect us by placing the blame somewhere else. Your excuses, however, will never do anything to help you achieve your goals, your dreams, or your ambitions. So instead of making excuses, make plans! Consider the following options:
Make It New Again
When you commit to something new, you are excited by the prospect of pursuing something different. Your excitement propels you out of bed in the morning and motivates you to act on what you want. Over time, as the immediate progress you make becomes the status quo, you find yourself on a plateau. What was once inspiring is now normal. Maybe it’s time to replan.
Acknowledge the progress you made and make that a starting point for an expanded plan that takes you to a level you would not have believed you were capable of achieving when you created the first plan. Dream big once again.
Develop a New Strategy
You made assumptions about how to reach your goal. You thought you knew your market and the service or product that was in demand and would lead to success. You thought you knew your company and what it takes to move up. Your strategy seemed like a good approach when you developed it. Now you’re beginning to see that your assumptions aren’t matching reality. Do you rethink your strategy, or do you make excuses?
When I started my first business, I was so convinced I understood my market, what their needs were and how to reach them. I quickly found out that I was wrong. I knew my market but my assumptions about what service or product they would spend their money on were incorrect. No one wants to admit they were wrong, least of all me, but I had to decide if I wanted to spend my time making excuses or developing a new strategy based on reality and what I had learned did not work. I chose the new strategy, and it worked.
You know so much more now than you did when you launched your plan. Successful people often talk about adjustments they made that led to their success. Maybe it’s time for a new strategy that incorporates newly gained experience and knowledge of what doesn’t work.
Be More: Become the Person that Comes After the Person you are Now
Often, the idea that inspires you requires you to “be more” before you can “do more” or “have more”. In the pursuit of your goal, you are going to have to become the kind of person who is capable of reaching that goal. The greater the goal, the more it will require that you grow.
Fake it until you make it is not bad advice, but it can be exhausting. Your image of yourself may not be at the level of someone who is living the kind of life you want. You project an image to the world that reflects how you see yourself and affects how others will see you. Instead of using an excuse for struggling to achieve your goal, develop the skills and act the part of someone who belongs at that level. Your confidence will increase and you won’t have to fake anything.
Revise Your Timeline
You may need an in-between plan with a revised timeline before you can accomplish all of your original plan. We grow impatient when it takes longer to reach our goal than we thought it would.
An in-between plan may provide you with a “win” that motivates you to keep going plus gives you an opportunity to think about what it will take to achieve your goal in the next phase. What knowledge and contacts do you need that you don’t have now?
The time it takes to reach your goal isn’t always within your control, no matter how much you try to bend the curve in your direction. It never makes sense to use the excuse that a goal is taking too long because the time is going to pass anyway. It makes more sense to adjust your timeline than give up.
Seek New Counsel:
There may come a time when you need help. You may need someone with different or more experience to provide you with another view, another idea, another approach, or additional insights. You may need new counsel.
Many of us believe that we must be the rugged individualist, refusing to ask for—or accept—help from others. Throughout human history, the wisest of all people have sought the counsel of others who offered a perspective or advice that would allow them to succeed. Seeking advice is always a better decision than making excuses to attempt to justify why you are unable to move forward.
Do I Really Want This?
Sometimes you need to just stop and honestly ask yourself why you wanted to do this in the first place? Was it your idea or an idea imposed by someone who thought that knew what you “should” be doing.
There are not too many character traits that will serve you better than persistence. But persisting while being miserable and hating each step you take will only give you ulcers. If you’re on a path to achieving what you don’t want, stop! Instead of making excuses about why your plan isn’t working, admit that what you’ve learned from what you’ve experienced so far is that this just isn’t the path for you.
There are other paths you can take that are better suited to who you are and how to live your life. Give yourself credit for starting down a path and being strong enough and wise enough to not invest more time and energy in something you don’t want.
Make Plans Not Excuses
The path to success is rarely a straight line. Instead, it is likely to be marked by fits and starts. The first try is essential, but the second attempt, and all that follows, are every bit as necessary. It is impossible to succeed if you accept failure as final and absolve yourself of responsibility to try again by making excuses instead of making plans.
You could be one change away from success, or perhaps success is going to require several modifications and more effort than you imagined. Excuses, instead of an honest appraisal of your situation, will never bring you success or provide satisfaction that the eventual attainment of your goal will.
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