I’m cruising around the world with 1300 people I don’t know. For the next four months, I’m living in a community of neighbors of all ages from multiple countries who have multiple reasons for making this journey. For some, it’s their first world cruise, and for others, it’s their 7th or 8th. The oldest passenger is 98 and on his 28th world cruise.
Everyone has a story that I’m curious to hear, learn from, and share with you. Last week I met a woman named Maggie and am sharing her story with you to illustrate that if you’re open to exploring new places, meeting new people, and embracing new ideas, you can create a new life after the one you never wanted to end has ended.
Maggie lives in Portland, Maine and lost her husband after a 40-plus year happy marriage. She was miserable, depressed and basically didn’t leave her home for 15 months following his death. After losing four of her close friends over a three month time period, she decided she had to make a drastic change, or she would die too. At 72 and still, in good health, she believed the time was now or never.
Her current environment was keeping her stuck in a life that was only a memory. A change of location, free of opinions of those around her about who she was and how she should live her life, was essential to create a future without her husband. So, she decided to go alone on a cruise around the world. That takes courage for someone who had never travelled alone in her life.
The first few weeks were difficult, and she was sure she had made a huge mistake until she met Larry, who lives in San Diego, California, on one of the shore excursions. Larry had recently lost his wife of many happy years and was also cruising alone. They had a nice conversation and decided to meet for dinner the next evening, and the next, and the next.
At the end of the cruise, Larry went back to his west coast home and Maggie went back to her east coast home, but before leaving the ship they decided to book the next cruise – a shorter one – together. They both loved cruising, were compatible travel companions, and could save considerable money by sharing a cabin, so they became cruise mates.
They’re enjoying their third year of cruising and are currently on their second cruise around the world. At the end of every cruise Maggie goes back to her home and Larry goes back to his, until the next cruise. It’s an arrangement that wouldn’t work for everyone but works well for them, and that’s all that matters.
What can we learn from their story?
1. The power of choice. Life is a series of endings and beginnings. Like Maggie, you may experience an ending you didn’t choose and for a time believe you’ll never be happy again. You can choose to hang onto a life that continues to exist only in your memory or choose instead to explore options available to you that support how you want to experience life in this phase of your life.
2. The power of a new environment. Change changes you and creates an opportunity to redefine who you are and what you want. That’s difficult to do in an environment that supports who you were. Staying in the same place with the same people when you’re no longer the same person doesn’t feel right because you no longer fit. A change of view helps you create a new view of you and opens your mind to possibilities you can’t see in your current environment.
3. The power of “yes.” Flexibility creates opportunities while living your life guided by outdated rigid fear-based rules – often prefaced by the word “should” — only creates limits. You can say “no” at any moment you realize something new isn’t working. At least be willing to open a door to what could turn out to be something wonderful by saying “yes.”
4. The power of relationships to move you forward or keep you stuck. Bringing new people into your life who don’t see you the way you’ve always been and criticize you if you do anything other than what they consider appropriate, is essential. Just as important is defining what relationship means to you at this stage of your life. Not every relationship has to be a forever relationship. I believe that being open to saying “yes” to relationships in many forms enriches your life and opens doors to possibilities you never imagined.
It’s never too late to find your mate!
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